037

As Sidney and I walked though the airport my phone beeped and I looked down to see it was a new message from Max. 'Hey sexy look to your left.' I stopped Sidney and looked to my left to see Max grinning at us with a terrible new mustache. "Max, what are you doing here?" Sidney asked shaking his hand. "Going to see my family for two weeks, then I will be back here, all by my lonesome because all my friends left me," he laughed before pulling me into a hug. "How was Cole Harbour?" Max asked. "Interesting," Sidney began to laugh, "someone over here got my mom shitfaced, had her singing and dancing in the kitchen." "Hey, she's the one that got me drunk," I shouted before laughing myself. "So what's the deal with when you guys get back from Ireland, because we'll be getting back around the same time. I want to have a big BBQ at your house, cook up my famous ribs," he laughed. "Can't have a BBQ in your apartment?" I laughed and he stuck out his bottom lip. "I'm going to be in New York for a week after we get back from Ireland, but you can do it whenever you want," Sidney replied. "A party without Sid, eh?" Max laughed raising his eyebrows. "We'll figure something out, give me a call when you get back to town," I smiled and Max said his goodbyes before walking away.

When we got home I started going through the mail when a letter addressed to me caught my eye. It almost looked like little kids hand writing. I ripped it open and began to read.

Avery,
As I'm sure you have heard by now I was thrown in the drunk tank the night of your opening. I am sorry I missed such an important night in your life, but I got the hint that you don't want me apart of your life anymore. That's why I went on a drinking binge I guess. I wanted to clear my mind, and after one too many, well you know. Shit happens. I really want to say that I'm happy for you and Sidney, but I'm not, and I will probably never be, but that's me. I know I'm being an asshole about it, but tough shit, you've always known I was a sore loser, and I lost. I lost to him, Sidney Crosby, the guy everyone wants to know, wants to be, wants to be WITH. My feelings will never change either, not now anyways. Have a good life.
Riley.

"What an asshole," I shouted as I starred down at the letter. "What's wrong babe?" Sidney asked walking into the kitchen. "Riley. I don't get it, how can Colby be his brother?" Sidney took the letter from my hand but before he read it he lifted an eyebrow at me, "just like Robert is your brother, doesn't make sense." He drew his attention down to the letter and I pulled out the coffee. "You never did tell me what happened with him at the opening, why did you kick him out?" Instead of answering me Sidney read the letter. "Yeah he is an asshole but hopefully now he will leave you alone right?" Sidney asked looking at me. "Sid, I asked you a question," I said walking up to him grabbing the letter out of his hand, throwing it in the trash. "I don't like your brother Avery, I'm sorry. Everything you said about him was right. He was very, very jealous that night, and he was saying some not so nice things. I wasn't going to let him ruin the night for you. I had to get rid of him, and I don't know if you saw, but your dad was helping me get him out of there," I could see the anger building in his eyes. "Sid, what was he saying?" "It's not important Avery. I don't even know if I should tell you this, but I overheard your dad telling Robert he was going to leave the company to you when he retires, I guess he was originally going to give it to Robert, I don't know. But Robert was not happy about that and he called you some names and said you weren't smart enough to run a business. That's when I flipped out, you are the smartest person I know, and how he can't see that just blows my mind." He was clinching his fists and I walked up to him wrapping my arms around his waist. "Can we go back to the way things were, when he just wasn't apart of my life?" "Yeah we can do that," I felt him kiss the top of my head, I didn't want to leave his arms, but the smell of the coffee was pulling away. Wait, dad wants to leave the company in my hands?

I heard a knock on my office door and quickly jolted my head up. Did I honestly fall asleep? I looked at the clock and it was only 2:30 in the afternoon. I ran my fingers through my hair, check my mouth to make sure I wasn't drooling and then shouted for whoever it was to come in. "Hey Colby!" I smiled as he walked in and sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk. "How goes it Av? I thought I would just swing by, say hi, see how it's going." "It's going good, I'm just tired, and we leave in two days. I'm suppose to be super excited about going to Ireland, but I'm not. It's weird," I looked at him curling the corner of my lip up. "Let's go grab some coffee," he smiled standing up. I followed him out of my office and we headed down the street a few blocks to a Starbucks. "Grande chai latte and an iced vanilla americano with room," Colby ordered and I stood back a little shocked. "Sidney still doesn't remember what I drink, well he remembers it's an americano, but the other stuff, no idea," I laughed.

We sat down at a table in the corner and Colby looked at me with a concerned look on his face. "What?" I asked with a little laugh. "What's going on with you and Sid? Things seem off." I looked at him and lowered my head, rubbing my thumbs over my coffee. "I don't know what's going on, but we talked about it, and he was going to propose, which you knew, but he said he started thinking about it and he didn't know what to do. Things are really good for us right now, but you're right, there is something off, and I don't know what it is. There were a few times where I wanted to run away. I was really scared, but now it's just in the back of my head, and we haven't talked about it or anything. The more I think about it, the more I want to run away actually." He grabbed onto my hand rubbing his thumb over my fingers. "You really are scared aren't you? Avery, I've known you for a long time, and I've known Sid for a long time, he is never going to hurt you like my dip shit brother did. There is no reason to be scared, and please don't run away, I don't think I could handle him crying on my shoulder, he'll ruin all my sweaters," Colby smiled after he saw me laugh. "Thanks Colby, I'm just in a funk and I need to snap out of it. I've been in this weird depression ever since the miscarriage, it's weird. I've never doubted anything before, and you know how I am, I don't put up with bullshit, but lately it's getting to me. My self-confidence is down, I'm not really motivated for anything. I don't know what's going on. I just need to snap myself out of it." "Have you ever thought about seeing a shrink?" My eyes grew wide. I'm not CRAZY! "It might help Avery, you should consider it," Colby smiled before letting go of my hand. "Anyways, Talbot tells me we are having a BBQ at your house while Sid is away, does he know that?" I began to laugh, "yeah Sid knows, but Max hasn't said anything to me, all I knew was that he wanted to have some people over and cook some ribs, he never said when."

Sidney threw a pair of his boxer briefs on my head and I just ignored it as I continued to pack my luggage. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked walking over to me taking the underwear off my head. I turned around and looked up at him. "I'm seeing a psychiatrist when we get back," I said just above a whisper. "Why are you going to see a psychiatrist, is something wrong?" He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wanted to collapse in his arms, I was really feeling bad and didn't know why. "I don't know what's wrong that's what I hope they can tell me. Don't worry about me Sid, I'm sure it's just a phase," I smiled looking up at him wrapping my fingers in his curls. "I am worried though Avery, I feel like I'm losing you," there was uncertainty in his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm here with you, we're going to Ireland tomorrow and we're going to have a blast. I'm just in a phase right now that I need to get out of. I'm not leaving you, ever." He leaned down and gave me a kiss and that's when my day turned for the better. That's all I needed. Take Sidney three times a day for the pain.

We walked silently hand in hand to the terminal and my heart was racing. Luckily I was able to get a prescription for Valium, which I take whenever I am on long flights, but I was scared of how Sidney would react. Valium makes me say and do weird things before it knocks me out, so I was worried about the things that could possible come out of my mouth. We sat down by the gate and my hands began to sweat. "Babe, you gonna be okay?" Sidney asked taking my hands in his. "You know I hate to fly," I laughed nervously. "I have Valium though, I take it on long flights, so if I'm acting strange it's the drugs okay?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "So if you try to take advantage of me, I should just let you?" I hit him in the arm and started to laugh, but when they called for first class to board the laughing stopped and the nerves kicked in. We sat in our seats and I took my Valium out and quickly swallowed a pill. "Remember, if I do anything weird, it's the drugs," I laughed putting the bottle back in my purse.

Just like clockwork as soon as we got to cruising altitude my mind was spinning in circles. "Sidney, I love you. Did you know that?" He began to laugh setting his magazine down, turning to look at me. "Avery, you love me? Really? Wow." "Yes silly, I think I love you more than my beer. That's pretty big!" I started to slur my words and my vision was becoming blurry. "You love me more than your beer, wow Avery, that's pretty serious." Is he messing with me? "Are you being serious Sidney?" I couldn't see his face very well, but I could tell he was starring at me. Am I making any sense right now? "Avery, I love you more than hockey." "Woah kid, this is pretty damn serious. Hockey is your life, do you have room to include me?" My head started to get heavy and I knew it was only a matter of minutes until I was knocked out cold. "You are my life Avery, hockey is my job, and I'm going to marry you one day. Hopefully one day soon if you say yes." "Hey . . . Sidney . . . when we get to Ireland . . . can we . . . " before I could finish what I was saying my head rolled back and I was out.

My eyes peaked opened and I saw that I was covered with a blanket lying down. I sat up, taking the blanket off and looked over at Sidney who was reading a magazine. That's funny, has he been like that this whole time? "Good morning sunshine, you slept the whole flight, we're about forty minutes from touching down," he smiled leaning over and kissing me on my ear. "What time is it?" "It's 3 AM our time, but 8 AM here," he said before yawning. "Did you get any sleep?" I asked. "Yeah, got a few hours, woke up about forty minutes ago, do you remember anything last night? You were pretty funny," he started to laugh. "I told you the drugs do weird things to me," I whined desperately trying to remember what we talked about. I began to stare and Sidney waved his hand in front of my face, "don't worry about it, it wasn't anything too bad. We did have to restrain you though, you wouldn't get off of me and people were complaining." "Oh shut up Sid," I laughed. After we landed Sidney and I quickly made our way off the plane and to the bathroom. I freshened up, brushing my teeth, as well as my hair and prepared myself for a two hour drive to Kilkenny. I walked out of the bathroom and threw my arms around Sidney's neck pulling him very close to me. "Thank you for bringing me here," I smiled getting on my tip toes to kiss him. "It's nice to see you smiling again Avery, I haven't seen that smile in awhile. Let's go get a pint shall we?" "It's 9AM!" I shouted and then a huge smile came over my face, "but in Pittsburgh it's 4AM and we would probably still be drinking, okay let's go!" "Dork," Sidney mumbled before we headed to baggage claim.